...of INFATUATION or LOVE...

Feelings of panic...
Uncertainty...
Overpowering lust...
Feverish excitement...
Impatience...

Infatuation... we are into it! Countless men and women live in anxious hope of experiencing it as soon as possible, moreover, over and over again should it be necessary; It has become a popular culture and a famous model for love itself. At this point of time, infatuation fever is directing the most critical intimate decisions of an large sub-culture of singles.

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! Before you rush to your next plunge, consider some of the viewpoints of the most popular of all feeling states. Stop, wait, and think about what it really is to be infatuated.

Note: Infatuation is defined as a kind of affliction. . The more popular alternative to the word is - to have a 'crush' on someone. Most of us recognise it as a state in which a person has that warm fuzzy feeling within. Desire focuses on a particular someone and suddenly nothing matters but that strong attraction. The dictionary strongly suggests that the result of infatuation is a reduction of mental capacity, a synonym "folly" predicting grave consequences to follow from stupidity resulting from fixated passion.

Does it sound familiar? Nevertheless, there must be something about infatuation that accounts for the hold it has over our imaginations and our choices. Most of us know the feelings of infatuation from direct personal experience. Clearly we have all been introduced to 'Love Fever' through sleep-overs at friends' house, fairy tales, literature, show, movies and the sort.

PHASE I : STRICKEN!

The first to every life of infatuation is that very 'special' moment when someone suddenly takes on 'special' meaning for us.

It is perhaps you hear a particular attraction in someone's voice that strikes a chord in your heart. Or maybe you are warmed by that unexpected gaze of tenderness. It is an intriguing remark that goes straight to your soul.

Lightning has struck...

PHASE II : INTRUSIVE THINKING

After the lightning strike comes a storm of intrusive thinking of the desired one.

Every experience you now have seems connected with their qualities, every shared moment filled with new meaning. When apart, you review and relish each moment spent in their presence and ruminate on their flavor.

You live in vigilant expectation of the next contact...

PHASE III : IDEALISATION

Idealisation sets in early in the intrusive thinking phase. The attractive warmth permeates everything and creates that perfectness with which we love to blind ourselves. For a while, you see no flaws in that beloved someone and admits to no blocks to forward progress.

PHASE IV : THE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER

From this high intensity anticipation comes the primary emotional dynamic of infatuation: an exquisite combination of hope and uncertainty.

Upon this point, life becomes that famous rollercoaster ride - delightful reciprocity followed by agonizing doubts of ultimate success. Fear, simple fear is now consciously driving the infatuation within you; -the-fear-of-not-getting-what-you-have-begun-to-desire- is the unique torment reserved for people who are infatuated.

This form of human experience is as well-recorded as any emotional memories has ever been. You can fund poignant elaborations on the process incised upon clay tablets, etched in marble, painted on papyrus, fixed in celluloid, playing on the radio, showed on TV, and filtering through the voices all around you. IT IS A FAMOUS AND FAVOURITE FORM OF ANGUISH!

But then again, how can something so uncomfortable be so irresistible?

"How then?"

Science's answer to it would be the existence of an amphetamine-like chemical called phenylethlamin (PEA) which is rapidly activated (in a flash!) within the brain when we begin to feel attracted to someone. But other some other scientists claim that it paves way to peculiar contemporary disorder, namely 'The Relationship Disorder'. This form of 'drug addiction' acts like speed, people who are not used to the rush begin to crave. In other words, an infatuated person may have multiple relationships at different times, not long enough to develop a relationship that really makes them happy or leads to lasting happiness.

"Why then?"

Psychology's answer is that of a most profound contribution to modern thought was to show us the extent of our behavior is guided by unconscious processes.

Another popular idea is that opposites attract, and for very good reasons. Theory shows that we are unconsciously drawn to those who exhibit qualities we find lacking - or somehow undeveloped - in our own psyches and that we always seek to complete or balance ourselves somehow through intimate attachments.

Harville Hendrix, author of Keeping the Love You Find: A Guide for Singles, has one of the best explanations for why we tend to fall so heavily and helplessly into the infatuated state.

He says we each have in our memory a highly individual imprint, a mental construct called imago, in which the best and worst attributes of our earliest caretakers have been crystallised. The imago we have of our dream lover is like an intimacy template the influences and filters our perception so that we are particularly attentive and sensitised to those who match our private patterns. This then accounts for the highly specific nature of our infatuations.

The deeper we go into this matter, the more infatuation seems to reflect its dictionary definition as the epitome of foolishness. The experience seems to take conscious choice right out of the picture. When we are infatuated with someone, it is as though we become little love robots, biochemical puppets with no will of our own, without a rational thought in our heads! And what is the stupendous pay-off for what seems to be a love offering of mindless surrender?

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY, now:

• How often have you experienced highly erotic and deeply gratifying love-making with someone with whom you were having a 'crush'?
• How often has the object of you feverish desire turned out to be as you imagined him/her?
• How many smoldering, day-dreamed passions have actually burst into flame for you?
• How many times have you been a 'Fool for Love' only to realise within weeks or months that there was no love there, only helpless yearning?
• How many sunny, companionable days have you actually spent with someone you longed to have?
• In short... how many times has infatuation worked for you?
  

The answers to these questions show there is little happiness in 'crushes' itself, precious little daily satisfaction is possible while we are acting the 'Fool for Love'. That is because the state of infatuation thrives on distance and frustration. It flourishes under difficult circumstances. It is not magnified by consummation and familiarity.

Note: Infatuation can't exceed its own expectations. It is the spark and the emotional kindling, it is not a steady warming fire. It is an appetizer that makes you anticipate the full banquet, but it will not keep you warm and it will not fill you up.

Infatuation begins as an important emotional signal to point you in the direction of desire and get you moving. But it is not yet love and its impetus will never take the place of thinking about what you want and acting persistently on that intention.

When all is said and done, we will always want to fall in love with the pull of a potent attraction. We will always want to love infatuation and we will always reserve our right to be a 'Fool for Love'. And that is as it should be. Who doesn't want to feel moved by the thrill of a profound, mysterious attraction that is able to overpower our ego defenses and cause us to open our soul to another with theimpetuosity of a child? The state of infatuation is so powerful that we want infatuation to have a meaning beyond that of a chemically-induced trance phenomenon. AND IT'S POSSIBLE, but with just one little catch.

In order to make certain that infatuation can fulfill its true role in the natural discovery and growth of love, we have to stay semi-conscious and aware of our choices. Only conscious surrender and sustained attachment can make the original spark of infatuation eventually work to our benefit.

Info cited from: http://www.sosuave,com/articles/infatuation.htm

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Personally, 'crushes' may start at some point, but it will not necessarily turn to love. I had my fair share of infatuations, and believe me when I say your mental capacity will drop when in the presence of that someone, so much so your choices seem irrational.

Infatuation isn't love...

True love stands the test of time, and time will tell...

Ok. Thank you.
God Bless.

I looked up in the sky... and I thought to myself...

"Flying feels pretty good..."

Ok, thank you.
God Bless.

Freshmen

Just last week, I was having a conversation with Daryl and Gary in McDonalds, 1U. We were reminiscing on the old days when we were in primary and secondary school. When we reached the part on our freshmen year in secondary school SMKDU, we shared how our freshmen year wasn't all it turn out to be, it is considered our 'Dark Ages', if you will.

While during our freshmen year of SMKDU, a number of freshmen already knew each other as they were in the same school from before (SKDU, which is relatively near SMKDU). As for the others (those from other schools), I believe that they will have a harder time to find a place within the school.

I remembered mine...
-------------------
*flash back*
-------------------

I was in class 1 Melur. The first 3 friends I made was Loh Kee Wen, Nicholas Ong and Chuah Min Ern. Of course I instantly recognised Wei Wen when he entered class a few days later since I already knew him back in primary school days.

Life goes on in form 1 as I choose to try out for prefect. That is only because my older brother was in prefect once, so I thought it would be fun. It wasn't that tough to pass being a prefect, especially when my brother was a prefect and the senior of my seniors in form 2.

Along the year in form 1, I was being a bastard (those who knew of my past would know of this), and being the naive prefect I was, I just went around doing whatever my senior prefects asked me to do, I followed the rules of the books (not entirely but most of it). This went on for too long to the point where I made more enemies than friends, even my fellow prefects then think I'm too bossy and too much of a bastard. When I was elected to become the Discipline Officer of prefect, almost all of the prefects threatened to quit (but they didn't, because my seniors intervene).

Yeah sure, so much for my freshmen year, not to say mine was the worse, but it was bad enough for me.

There you go, my freshmen year in a nutshell.

--------------------------
*ends flash back*
--------------------------

Freshmen year is considered a very important year as this particular year is the decider of the remainder of your secondary school life. It'll decide where you will be in the hidden secondary school hierarchy. IT WILL ALL-SO DECIDE WHO IS POPULAR AND WHO IS NOT!

It is sad indeed to know these things exist, where freshmen face identity crisis and is finding his/her place withing the school's society. Perhaps they wondering that should they fail, they are doomed to live the rest of their secondary school life in dumps -so to speak-.

As much as I think these things shouldn't exist, it is inevitable. But to those who feel that they they are failing their freshmen year, don't fret. There are another 4 years to fix it. Sure it'll be a wound in your pass, but 'tis a wound that will be a reminder of how it came to be and how you fixed it.

Another important issue is that don't dwell in it. There are few I know that have this problem, where they wonder how their life turn out the way they did, and they hate it alot. DON'T FEEL THAT WAY! It'll surely halt your progress.

I may not be the best example, not am I the person closest to perfection. But I am glad that I had the very bad freshmen year I had. Through it I realise things, things too much for me to blog here. But to sum it all up, the end of form 5 I was simply labeled by almost all of the form 5 body of 2005 as:

"Oh Ean? Yeah I know him. Don't know him too well, but he's a nice guy..."

OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT THE

"JUST A NICE GUY"

LABEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm that boy which holds the new testament bible with me daily. I'm not the most popular kid in school, but I'm balanced enough to befriend everyone from the popular kids and the not-so-popular kids. Maybe that's why I was labeled the "Just a Nice guy" label.


Ok, thank you.
God Bless.

This is me, in Melacca with Lydia and Matt.

This is me, lost in Melacca with Stan, Matt, and Jon.

This is me, in PopArt with Jon, Ruz, Matt, Nick, Xtine and Sofia.

This is me, in Zanmai Sushi with Jon and Stan.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(From Iron Man)
Christine Everheart: Tony Stark! Christine Everheart, Vanity Fair magazine
Tony Stark: Hi, yeah okay, go.
Christine Everheart: Mr. Stark, you've been called the Da Vinci of our time; what do you say to that?
Tony Stark: Absolutely ridiculous, I don't paint.
Christine Everheart: What do you say to your other nickname, the 'Merchant of Death'?
Tony Stark: That's not bad.
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Happy Birthday Eggs

This year, 6 of the 7 of us turn 2 decades old. And the first(s) to do so is.....

*drumroll*

THE AIK TWINS!!

Too bad not all of us can celebrate with you guys, happy birthday and best wishes, appreciate life and friends, and good luck getting old!

Now, 2 down, 4 to go. And one next year.

As of 26 March 2008.....

I am no longer a 'P'rofessional driver.

Farewell my 'P'rofessional status, we've been through much together......


Ok. Thanks.
God bless.

Five lessons to make you think about the way we treat people.

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor
gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student
and had breezed through the questions until I read
the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the
cleaning woman several times. She was tall,
dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question
blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if
the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers,
you will meet many people. All are significant. They
deserve your attention and care, even if all you do
is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her
name was Dorothy.

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an elderly African-American
woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway
trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had
broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.
A young white man stopped to help her, generally
unheard of in those conflict-filled 60s.. The man
took her to safety, helped her get assistance and
put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his
address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a
knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a
giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A
special note was attached..

It read:
"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway
the other night. The rain drenched not only my
clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying
husband's bedside just before he passed away... God
bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving
others."

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.


3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,
a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and
sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and
studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the
waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on
the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice
cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress
came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the
table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish,
were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had
to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a
roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if
anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the
king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by
and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the
King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did
anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of
vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the
peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the
stone to the s ide of the road. After much pushing
and straining, he finally succeeded. After the
peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed
a purse lying in the road where the boulder had
been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note
from the King indicating that the gold was for the
person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The
peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a
hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who
was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only
chance of recovery appeared to be a blood
transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had
miraculously survived the same disease and had
developed the antibodies needed to combat the
illness. The doctor explained the situation to her
little brother, and asked the little boy if he would
be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a
deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will
save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in
bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did,
seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his
face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a
trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the
doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his
sister all of his blood in order to save her.

I'm classified as a 'B-' student for this subject

Figure 1

Figure 2

Figure 3

Figure 4

Figure 5

These days, I find that my eye sight is worsening after each series of projects and drawings. Jon said to me: "Maybe you are just exhausted from all the work..." I really hope so. I cannot see as well without my glasses than I used to be. I have to consider my health in this case. However Matthew Chong has this to say: "Assignments are more important." Sure it is, but do remember as well that you need strength to finish your assignments.

Before I go, I have this to say: "Wei Wen, here you go."


Ok. Thank you.
God bless.